And Sting said, "How could it be that what you need the most could leave you feeling just like a ghost?"
And Mick Jagger said, "You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes you just might find...you get what you need."
I recently had the experience of learning that one of the people I treasured most in this world was nothing at all as I thought he was. It came to light recently that the reality of my relationship was far different than I had imagined. In fact, in less than one week I learned things that could not be fixed. Trust was not just broken. It was obliterated. How could I be so blind?
In short, I lost my true self in this relationship. And I wasted years of my life. It shakes a person to the core when they realize they have been betrayed and lied to and misled for years. How do you discern between people who are truly good and people who masquerade as good people?
Maybe it starts with listening to my 9 year old who said, "You should have listened to me when I told you years ago that he was a bad person." Children have a way of seeing the simple truth. Next time I will listen to him and most of all to myself. If someone brings pain instead of happiness, criticism instead of support and lies instead of truth, I will run. I will not find a way to excuse odd behavior. I will listen. And in the meantime, I will heal. It's not the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
It wasn't what I wanted. But it was what I needed.
Life is funny that way.